


A Proper Lady

by Svartalfhild



Category: Pillars of Eternity
Genre: F/M, Friendship, Gen, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Male-Female Friendship, Partying, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-22
Updated: 2017-03-22
Packaged: 2018-10-09 02:06:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10401330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Svartalfhild/pseuds/Svartalfhild
Summary: After the events at Sun in Shadow, the Watcher returns to Caed Nua to celebrate the end of the Hollowborn crisis and have one last hurrah with those who traveled with her.  Unfortunately, the celebrations are mixed with stress over the role of the Lady of Caed Nua and other lingering challenges.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This started out as a silly little blurb about Aloth teaching the Watcher fancy table manners and transformed into a freaking novella, so, uh, welcome to this rambling story. I really hope it turned out well.

It was an indescribable feeling, the sunlight on one's face after crawling from the darkness beneath the Burial Isle to emerge in Teir Evron. The world was changed. It was better. The air was fresher and sweeter. People were friendlier. Children once hollow were whole again. Lann and her friends were all alive. It was all so much better than she could ever have imagined.

And yet there was this inescapable feeling in her gut that each step she took on the path home to Caed Nua was a step closer to losing something she didn't want to give up, something elusive that she could not name. It wasn't until she was standing at the gate of Caed Nua that she realized what it was.

Her friends were going to leave and she would have to stay here and actually be a lady.

“Well, here we are,” she sighed as she turned back to her friends.

“If you think we ain't gonna stick around for the party, that machine's blast hit you harder than I thought,” Edér responded with a smirk before taking a puff of his pipe.

“Party?”

“Yeah, when something this huge happens, all the lords usually throw big festivals and stuff and I figured, with you being the Lady of Caed Nua and the saviour of the damn world and all, you'd be having a real big party.”

Lann was rather stunned by this news at first, on account of how this seemed to be an expectation people had for Dyrwood nobility, but then a broad grin spread across her face.

“I mean...I know you all have things you need to go and do, but I would be beyond delighted if you would all stay a little bit longer for some festivities,” she said once she'd found her words, her violet eyes looking to each of her companions in turn. They were all beaming at her.

“Well, that party won't start itself,” Sagani commented with a chuckle and they all began to walk towards the gate. Lann watched them go with an amazing feeling of warmth in her chest, wondering how it was that she managed to find such wonderful friends.

* * *

The preparations for this grand festival were far more time-consuming and extravagant than Lann had ever imagined. Once she'd enlisted the Steward's help and more and more people got involved, suddenly people were taking things into their own hands to make them bigger and better than Lann had initially suggested. Many, many people flooded in from the area over the course of just a couple of days and Caed Nua saw more activity in those days than it had in an age.

Alarmingly soon, Lann received word that nobility from all around the Dyrwood were on their way to visit and she was struck with a terrible panic at the idea, because that, more than anything, made her realize how much she really didn't know how to be a lady. There were only so many things the Steward could help her with and this was not one of them. Sure, she had had noble guests before, but she had never had to entertain them.

Oh gods. She was about to show the whole world that she was just an uncivilized freak raised by snow and spite. What had she gotten herself into?

“Your thoughts are chaotic. A swarm of sharp knives, all turned inward,” a soft voice said as Lann sat in restless contemplation on her throne. She looked up to see the Grieving Mother standing beside her, wearing a sympathetic expression.

“I'm going to make a fool of myself. It'll be like a child parading around in their parents' armor.”

“Perhaps your solution lies with one who was born with the armor.” It took Lann a moment to decipher these cryptic words, but then she beamed and jumped up from her seat.

“Why didn't I think of that? Ugh, I'm an idiot! Thank you, Grieving Mother!” And with that, the Watcher dashed from the hall excitedly.

Outside, she was greeted by the sight of half a dozen tents, some partially erected, and a bustling array of people setting things up. At first, she wasn't sure which way to go in search of the person she needed, but then she spotted a familiar head of golden hair by one of the great adra pillars surrounding the chapel. Dodging a pair of men debating streamer colours and a fast moving cart of ale barrels, she hurried over to her favourite bearded friend, who appeared to be helping to build stalls and stages for merchants and entertainers.

“Hey there, Lann,” he greeted casually when he noticed her approach, setting down a wooden board to turn and face her. “You look to be in an awful hurry. Hope things are goin' alright at the keep.”

“Hi, Edér!” she managed while catching her breath, at which point she noticed Maneha was also present. “Oh! Hi, Maneha. Don't worry, everything's fine. Well, not totally fine. This is a sort of emergency, actually, but not one that you should worry yourself over. I need to speak to Aloth. Would either of you happen to know where he is at the moment?”

“What sort of emergency is it?” Maneha asked, sounding oddly very curious, as if she were trying to low-key root out a secret.

“One in her breeches, no doubt,” a gruff voice interjected and Lann whipped around, wide eyed, to see Durance perched on a nearby stack of hay bundles, watching unabashedly and smoking from a pipe that was much longer and grubbier than Edér's. Unfortunately, Lann's milk white complexion did absolutely nothing to hide her blush and she was quick to pull up her dark hood as far as it would go.

“Durance!” she groaned in embarrassment.

“Hey, Durance. Might not wanna sit over there. Someone might try to fork that hay and put the fork through you by mistake,” Edér quipped, taking the piece of long grass from between his lips. Before the dirty priest could fire back, an unexpected hero appeared in the form of the cosmic pig Lann had taken to calling Stellan. The noble beast came out of nowhere and knocked Durance right from his perch, prompting a string of extremely profane curses and much flailing of limbs.

“Woohoo! Go pig!” Edér cheered and both Lann and Maneha erupted into fits of giggles as they watched Durance give chase to an unruly blue swine.

Once they had all settled down and Lann felt sufficiently saved from her embarrassment for the time being, she turned the discussion back to her question.

“So Aloth?”

“Right, yeah. Don't know exactly where he's at, but he said something at breakfast about needing to go to the library.” Of course. Half the time it seemed like Aloth didn't feel useful unless he was holding a book.

“Thanks. I'll be on my way then.”

“Have fun!” Maneha called after Lann as the Watcher scampered back towards the keep. She tossed a confused look over her shoulder at the aumaua as she went.

When she made it back to the keep, she found that activity had picked up there to almost match the hustle and bustle of the outside. She had to skirt around multiple people carrying bunches of flowers and other decorations to get to the staircase, which proved to be much more peaceful, to her relief, at least until she heard raised voices coming from the library.

Upon getting closer, Lann realized that it was the sound of Kana's resonant bass and Aloth's airy tenor bickering about something and she took the last few steps two at a time. What she saw when she came through the door was not at all what she expected.

There, directly across the room from the doorway for her to see with her own two eyes, was Aloth sitting on Kana's shoulders and reaching for one of the higher up shelves. They were arguing like juvenile brothers over their positioning while her black cat observed judgmentally from the windowsill. Lann paused to watch for a moment and appreciate the adorableness of the situation, smiling a little to herself. Gods, she loved bookish types.

“Ahem. Isn't there a ladder in here?” she eventually piped up, glancing about the room. She spotted a sad pile of wood in the corner that could only have been the remains of the library ladder. It looked as if it had tried to support too much weight and had given up on its painful existence. She made a note to acquire a more aumaua-friendly ladder.

“Lann!” the two men cried in startled unison, nearly toppling over.

“Hello there, boys. If it's not too much trouble, I'd like to speak to you for a moment, Aloth.” The wizard perked up at this and smiled ever so slightly.

“Certainly. One moment.” He made one final stretch for the bookshelf and plucked out a book that looked to be on Glamfellen art before climbing down from Kana's massive shoulders and handing the scholar the volume. “This may have what we need,” he murmured, turning his attention back to Lann a moment later and stepping toward her. She beckoned for him to follow her and she led him to her study down the corridor.

Once they were inside and she had shut the door behind them, she took a deep breath and met Aloth's curious gaze.

“I'm sorry if I seem to be acting strangely. I'd just rather discuss such an embarrassing subject away from prying eyes and ears,” Lann apologized, thin fingers worrying the edge of her black linen shawl as she spoke. A look of concern came over Aloth's sharp features at this and moved closer. If she had had a mind to, she could have reached out and touched him at this distance.

“What is it, Lann?” he asked softly and she moved around him to stand by the window and see the activity on the grounds below.

“I can't do this.”

“Do what?”

“This whole Lady of Caed Nua business. I can negotiate deals. I can organize resources. I can arbitrate disputes. But I can't navigate high society. If I can't do that, then there will be no deals, no resources, because nobody of note will want to ally with a Wendish bumpkin who doesn't know the rules of polite society. I'll probably unintentionally offend every noble I have dinner with,” Lann confessed. The words seemed to all come out in a great rush and with each one, she felt smaller and more removed from the unwavering, enigmatic persona she wore like a cloak.

“First of all, I think you severely underestimate the respect people have for you. You're an eloquent, insightful speaker and the saviour of the Dyrwood. Those are worth far more than any knowledge of protocol, I assure you. Secondly, I think perhaps you've taken Pallegina's stories of Vailian political intrigue a little too much to heart. Dyrwood is far less strict, so much so, in fact, that my first impression of this land as an Aedyran was that even the nobility are a bunch of drunken hooligans.”

“Aloth,” Lann admonished, though she couldn't help but smile a little as she looked over her shoulder at him.

“My opinion has become more complex since then, I promise, but my point is that I don't believe you have to fear being unable to serve your people just because you don't know which spoon to eat soup with.”

Much of the worry had faded from Aloth's expression by the time he finished and had been replaced by warmth and sympathy. Everyone always complained about how standoffish he was, but she had never seen him that way and moments like this reminded her of why that was. He was a very sweet man when he wasn't being sarcastic.

“Thank you. I know I'm being silly-”

“You're not. I understand why you're concerned and it's alright.” He put his hand on her shoulder as he said this and she gave a small gasp. Slowly, she turned to fully face him and felt the warmth in her chest spread across her back and down her arms.

“That means a great deal to me, Aloth. Thank you. I...it's just...it would make me feel...do you think you could...” Lann trailed of, unable to find the right words for the question, still feeling quite embarrassed about it. Fortunately, he seemed to understand what she was getting at.

“Of course. We'll start with spoons,” he replied with a gentle laugh, which coaxed a fresh smile from her. They left the study and began heading towards the kitchens, the mood now much more lighthearted.

“By the way, what were you up to with Kana?” Lann asked as they descended the stairs to the main hall.

“Oh, er, that? It's a, er, s-surprise, actually,” Aloth answered, fumbling over his words before Iselmyr added, “ _Aye, and it's fer you, lass. The lad's carryin' a real-_ ” She was then interrupted by Aloth retaking control. “Iselmyr!” he snapped. “It's not the time!”

“I can't wait to see what you're planning, whatever it is,” Lann giggled, looping her arm around his.

* * *

The Watcher spent the afternoon in the dining hall with Aloth, learning everything he knew about proper table etiquette. He had a sense of humor about the whole thing, clearly seeing how ridiculous these little rules were, but he was nonetheless patient with Lann and proved to be a surprisingly good teacher. He was gentle in his corrections and she enjoyed his praise a little more than she probably should have.

It was quite late in the afternoon when the lesson was abruptly brought to a close by an enormous, one-eyed stelgaer bolting through the room with a freshly caught chicken in its maw, quickly followed by a very displeased Pallegina, who was calling out threatening sounding things in Vailian.

“Um, thank you for the lesson, Aloth. I think I have to go deal with this before someone gets murdered,” Lann told the wizard before shooting up from her seat and hurrying after her other two friends. “Hiravias!” she shouted as she went.

All she had to do was follow the sounds of chaos to eventually catch up to Hiravias and Pallegina just outside the hedge maze on the grounds. Before the druid could disappear, Lann reached out with her mind and brought him to a halt. Pallegina yanked the chicken from his mouth and scowled at him with her golden eyes. The cipher ran her fingers over the fur atop his head soothingly and moved around him so that she could look him in the eye.

“You can't just take chickens, Hiravias. I'd appreciate it if your need to hunt were directed at the surrounding forest.” She got the distinct impression from her mind link that his excuse was a specific craving for chicken. “Well alright then, but don't just snatch one while you're a stelgaer. It freaks people out. I'll let you have this one if you promise not to misbehave when I let you go. Deal?” There came a deep purring sound and Lann understood that as agreement. “Pallegina,” she prompted to the paladin, who gave a disapproving huff, but nonetheless obliged, handing over the chicken.

Lann released her hold of Hiravias' mind and he politely waited for her to give him his prize. She flung the bird in the air and watched him leap up to grab it in his jaws and bound away.

“You shouldn't let him run so wild here,” Pallegina advised.

“If I simply tried to leash and censure him, he'd feel all the more compelled to wreak havoc. I know you like to put the fear in people and gods know you do it beautifully, but it only works on Hiravias in certain situations,” Lann reasoned. The Vailian continued to look disapproving and uncomfortable, which inspired her to add somewhat jokingly in attempt to lighten the mood, “Of course, I completely understand if you were also a bit disturbed by his disrespect of the bird.” Pallegina raised a dark eyebrow at her and did not respond for what seemed like an age. Lann began to think she was about have the fear instilled in her, but then Pallegina spoke.

“Yes, it was quite fowl,” she deadpanned and Lann lost it. Putting her hands to her face, she groaned and leaned back.

“Pallegina mes Rèi. I can't believe you made me hear that with my own two ears.”

“You earned it.”

“I thought you said that puns are a base level of wit far beneath any respectable Vailian.”

“So was your own joke. We're even,” the paladin rebounded and then _smirked_. Lann could almost hear obnoxious trumpets of victory in the background as she watched Pallegina walk away. The Watcher of Caed Nua had been slain on the battlefield of wits in her own fortress. She felt oddly honored as much as she was scandalized.

Once she'd gotten over the sensation, she sighed and headed back into the keep, her thoughts soon returning to Aloth and his teaching. She replayed the afternoon in her head and let daydreams of him being close to her float about in her mind. Thaos was gone and she was home; she could allow herself a few of the luxuries she'd denied herself for so long.

It was funny. Before she had befriended Aloth, no man had ever been a distraction to her, but in the course of getting know him, something had shifted inside her, causing her to think about him in ways outside the parameters of close friendship. She refused to name the feeling. If she did, there would be no going back. It was getting harder, though, now that there was no major conflict she could focus on instead.

It was well into evening when she came out of her daydreams and brooding to find herself lounging on the Steward, draped across the seat like a wet cloth.

“I do hope you're off relaxing in your own little world and not being harassed by visions again.” Lann recognized the voice of her dwarven friend and looked over to see Sagani approaching, Itumaak quietly padding along behind her.

“The former. I promise,” the Watcher assured Sagani as she got up and adjusted her shawl. “What's on your mind?”

“Oh, I just thought I'd let you know that there's dinner waiting for you at Brighthollow. Everyone's going to be there,” Sagani informed her and she immediately perked up.

“You have my attention.”

“Well, c'mon then. We couldn't get any seal, but I heard there'll be some choice fish on the table.” As if on cue, Lann's stomach growled softly. “Me too, friend. Me too,” the dwarf laughed and they walked together to Brighthollow, both grinning in anticipation.

* * *

Dinner was everything Lann could have hoped quality time with her friends would be. They were all there with her, all sharing an amazing meal (except for the Devil of Caroc, who was just there to make snide commentary), laughing and bickering and not worrying that they might be dead tomorrow. She had never experienced anything like it before in all her 60 years of life.

Between eleven of the twelve of them, they finished off a bottle of Aedyre brandy, Vailian wine, Rauatai sherry, and a few shots of Wendish vodka (the rest of that bottle to later be finished solo by Zahua). They played drinking games, like Never Have I Ever, which Maneha lost spectacularly and led them to a new game in which she would tell three stories about her exploits and everyone else had to guess which one was true, taking a drink if they got it wrong.

By the time they were all pretty tipsy and well on their way to being drunk, Kana convinced Aloth to let Iselmyr sing her favourite bawdy tavern song. She danced energetically around the table, belting out words mostly understandable only to those who knew Hylspeak and occasionally clapping one of the party on the shoulder. Lann was still sober enough to notice halfway through that both Aloth and Iselmyr were singing, trading off verses. She could hear it in the subtle differences of inflection and once she'd noticed that, her cipher brain picked up on the shifting of their souls. It warmed her heart to see this sign that the two were starting to find harmony with each other.

Inspired, she followed up their song with one of her own, an old Glamfellen standard even more unintelligible than the Hylspeak. Despite none of them having the foggiest what the words meant, her friends cheered and clapped along, excited by her unusually bold behaviour. Kana, though, poor fellow, did take a moment to attempt to drunkenly record a few lines in his notebook, but gave up when he realized fine motor skills weren't happening for him at this point. To make up for it after she'd finished her song, Lann led them all into a roaring Dyrwoodan tavern ballad that they had all taken a fancy to over the course of their travels, even the Devil, who managed not to split their ears with her metallic tones. It was almost magical, hearing all their voices belting out catchy lyrics together. In that moment, Lann felt more happy and at home than she ever had before in her entire life. This was what it felt like to belong.

After that, the dinner devolved into a loose gathering of drunken, and in some cases, mildly violent individuals. Lann decided to follow the sentimental path her thoughts had gone down and took Aloth and Edér aside, hooking her arms around their shoulders as they wandered over to the pool in the front hall (a feat that took effort, considering how much bigger they both were than her).

“I love all of you dearly, well, except maybe Durance or the Devil, but you two. You two have been with me since day one and you haven't left my side since. The others...they come and go, but you two go everywhere with me. I just wanna say...don't think I've ever appreciated or loved anyone more,” she babbled before hopping up on her toes to give both men a kiss on the cheek. As if they had planned it, both of them seemed immediately compelled to kiss her cheeks in return. She giggled in delight, her rosy face growing even more so than it already was from all the drinking.

“Don't go makin' it sound like a eulogy now. We'll be with ya a while yet,” Edér replied, putting a comradely arm around her waist and then looking to the other man and adding, ”Right, Aloth?”

“Of course! And I'll be around even longer than Edér if I can help it.” The wizard also put his arm around Lann and then rested his cheek on the top of her head fondly as he spoke.

“'Course we won't always be at yer side, but we will be there in our hearts. You can feel that kinda thing, right? 'Cause yer a cipher?”

“Never tried it. Maybe...if you gave me...something of yours?” Lann suggested slowly, taking a bit longer to arrive at the idea than usual. She blamed it on the vodka.

“Done and done,” Aloth said eagerly as he took off one of his own rings and slid it onto her left ring finger like a promise ring. It was silver and bore a small obsidian gem and in that moment, it was the most beautiful thing in the world to Lann. Tears welled up in her eyes as she realized that this was his favourite ring, one that carried a powerful protection enchantment.

“Here. Take this,” Edér offered, taking something from around his neck and pressing it into her palm. It was a fine silver chain from which hung a small golden symbol of Eothas. “My mama gave it to me when I was a boy.”

“Oh, Edér, I couldn't-”

“I want ya t'have it. Ya don't gotta wear it or nothin', just keep it with ya so ya always got a piece of me. 'Sides. I don't need it so much anymore. Not as much as you, anyhow,” the burly human insisted with a note of melancholy to his warm smile. Lann felt the tears finally spill down her cheeks and she hugged Aloth and Edér tighter.

“I love you both so much,” she blubbered. They had barely had time to savor their big, emotional, drunken hug before something slammed into them.

“Embrace the pain!” Zahua cried as he came out of nowhere and shoved all three of them right into the pool. From somewhere at the other end of the hall, Hiravias and Maneha gave delighted cheers.

Edér, apart from his initial yelp, did not seem overly bothered by his sudden wetness and even laughed when his head came back above the surface. Lann and Aloth, however, came up sputtering and incredulous.

“ _I'll pull yer spine out yer arse fer that one, ye old bampot!_ ” Iselmyr barked, which only seemed to excite Zahua.

“ _Really_ , Zahua!” Lann added in exasperation, feeling a lot more sober than she had a few minutes ago. Hiravias did a running jump into the pool, splashing water everywhere, and after that, the party somehow devolved further into everyone finding their way into the pool, save the Devil of Caroc, who stood leaning against a wall, watching them splash at each other.

“And then a bunch of idiots around a table became a bunch of idiots in a pool,” she commented dryly, earning her a playful flick of water from Sagani, who was apparently just drunk enough at this point to not care about provoking a serial killer.

By the time they had been thoroughly tired out by their comparatively wild party, Lann was too far gone to make it up to her room and she passed out on the stairs, a content smile on her painted lips.

* * *

The next morning, Lann awoke in her own bed with a splitting headache and cup of tea on her nightstand. It was still quite hot, which meant it had been put there recently, by whom she did not know until she caught the sweet scent of a peculiar herb in the steam. She had only smelled it a couple of times before. It was a plant native primarily to Aedyr that was no longer commonly grown in the Dyrwood due to its association with its former colonial masters.

Motivated by her curiosity, Lann slowly rose from her bed, noting that her clothes were still damp in places, and stumbled over to her desk, where rested an herbalist's encyclopedia. She snatched it up and flipped through it to the page that detailed the moonlover plant, which had long, thin leaves and flowers like deep blue stars with white centers. Concentrating as best she could through her headache, she read the entry, which informed her that it was commonly used to treat a number of ailments, including restless sleep, weak joints, and hangovers. The person most likely to have knowledge of such an herb was Aloth and she immediately felt silly for taking the time to figure that out when she finally lifted the cup of tea from its saucer to find a small note from him, which she would have noticed if she had had a clearer head.

“Meet me in the library when you're up and ready. -Aloth,” it read and Lann couldn't stop herself from smiling, a bit giddy and excited at the prospect, despite how awful she otherwise felt physically. After a few sips of tea, however, she felt much better, almost fine, in fact. Effective herb, that moonlover.

After peeling off her old clothes, Lann did a few stretches to work the stiffness out of her muscles and joints. Both of her collarbones and her back popped loudly and she laughed to herself. As she dressed in fresh clothes and made herself presentable, memories of the previous night started to come back to her. Aloth and Iselmyr singing together. Pallegina teaching Kana a popular Vailian dance. Getting emotional with Aloth and Edér. Zahua ruining the moment. Zahua dragging Durance into the pool and them exchanging fists. Hiravias playing with Itumaak. The Devil threatening to gut them all in their sleep if anyone pushed her into the pool. It was all coming back. She was going to have to give the servants who cleaned it all up a well-earned wage bonus, she thought with another laugh.

As quietly as she could, so as not to disturb anyone who might still be asleep, Lann left Brighthollow for the keep. It was just barely dawn and people were already back to work at setting things up for the festival. The preparations were almost complete, which reminded her that the first of her noble guests were due to arrive later today. That feeling of unease bubbled up again in her gut and she quickened her pace to the keep, pulling up her black hood to feel more secure.

“Whatcha doin'?” The question startled Lann and she jumped around to see the Devil of Caroc sitting on a stone bench, casually sharpening her spear. The Watcher did dearly wish in that moment that the Devil's joints creaked a bit more, because her knack for jump-scaring people was disturbing.

“I'm on my way to see to Aloth,” Lann answered, squaring her shoulders and looking the construct in the eyes to make it seem less like she'd nearly leapt out of her own skin.

“You're real smitten with that boy, ain'tcha?” At this, the elf stared for a long minute, her mind scrambling to come up with an honest response that wasn't an admission.

“Aloth asked me to meet him,” she eventually said as evenly and casually as she could in order to brush the accusation off.

“Ya say that like it don't mean nothin' that you're up at the crack o' dawn with a hangover, comin' when he calls ya and lookin' real happy 'bout it too.”

These words felt like a slap to the face, like she was being forcefully awoken from unconsciousness. She hated that the Devil was right. She hated that she couldn't stop herself from feeling this way.

“What's your point?” Lann replied, a little bite to her tone.

“He's up at the crack o' dawn with a hangover, wantin' t'see ya.”

“Look, whatever you're implying, I'm sure you're wrong about it.” Lann then turned away and made to walk on, but she paused when the Devil gave one more response.

“You go on thinkin' that, Watcher. You'll remember this when he's got his tongue down yer throat.” Well, that was a lot more than an implication. It conjured a very vivid, clear image of what the Devil was talking about and what Lann wanted, but was convinced she could never have. She pulled her hood even further down her face to hide her cheeks, which were burning with embarrassment, and walked briskly away, wrenching open the front door to keep with far more force than strictly necessary.

As promised, she found Aloth in the library. He was not, as she had expected, engrossed in a book, but rather standing by the window and looking out the grounds with his hands folded neatly behind his back. He turned to face her when she entered and smiled brightly.

“Good morning, Lann,” he greeted softly, his dark eyebrows turning up in an apologetic expression. “Sorry to ask you here so early. I thought that now would be a good time for another lesson, since it would be much less likely for someone to walk in on us.”

“It's alright. That herb you put in my tea did wonders.”

“I'm not particularly well versed in herbalism, but I do know a few things. I learned about moonlover at a young age. It's an amazing plant.” Seeming to realize that the discussion was veering dangerously close to the topic of his terrifying childhood, Aloth cleared his throat and put the focus back on Lann. “Anyway, I thought perhaps this morning I'd show you the basics of court dancing. I'm by no means the most skilled teacher, since I only ever attended a few balls when I was younger, but what little I know might be just enough to help you feel more comfortable if ever you have to go to such an event.”

The offer excited Lann far more than she cared to admit, her violet eyes lighting up at Aloth's words.

“That's a wonderful idea, Aloth. Lead the way.” At this, his uncertain expression became one of pure delight and he held his hands out to her. She took them and he led her to the most open area of the library.

“Now whatever I do, I want you to mirror me, alright?” he said and she nodded, at which point he began to hum a tune she had never heard before. It was definitely Aedyran and very precise in its beat.

The style of the dance was not like anything she had seen growing up in the Wending White. This was more like walking, shuffling and hopping in a very controlled pattern, often while continuing to hold one or both of a partner's hands. It was utterly bizarre, but she found that she rather liked it, at least with Aloth as her partner, alone in the comfort of her own home.

“Graceful and a quick study. You never disappoint, do you?” the wizard complimented after they had gone through a few songs without her falling too terribly out of step.

“I don't know about that. I'm sure there are many people, including a handful of gods, who would disagree pretty heavily on my ability to disappoint,” Lann replied with a self-deprecating chuckle. Aloth stepped closer and met her gaze.

“I suppose I should clarify. You've never disappointed _me_.” This elicited a small gasp from the cipher as her heart jumped into her throat.

“I haven't?” The question made Aloth's eyebrows turn upwards slightly in sadness and he came even closer, bringing his face no more than eight inches from her own.

“I have never trusted anyone more than you, Lann,” he told her, his voice gentle but determined. She was stunned, unsure how to react. A sort of tension was rolling off him in waves; she could sense it, prompting her to wonder if Iselmyr wanted to say something he didn't want said.

“I feel the same. I mean, uh, I know you still feel guilty about the Leaden Key, but I want you to know that I have always trusted you and there is no one I would rather have at my side. I mean...I just...” Lann rambled, trailing off for lack of the right words, and she had never seen a more fond look in Aloth's blue eyes in return. One of his hands left hers to cradle the side of her face and her breath hitched in her throat. The tension coming off of him was even greater than before and time seemed to slow down around them. Her heart was screaming for her to close the distance between them, but she couldn't do it. She couldn't bring herself to presume like that. “I wish you could read my mind,” she all but whispered.

Suddenly, soft lips pressed against hers and the rest of the world seemed to freeze and fade away. There was nothing but the feeling of pure, burning joy that defined her existence from the ribs up and the sensation of Aloth's lips melding with hers. Her arms slid around him, bringing them even closer, her fingers digging into the back of his linen tunic.

And then it seemed to be over as quickly as it had begun, leaving them both breathless and looking into each other's eyes with a mixture of intensity and uncertainty.

“Why? I'm just...” Lann began, but the words “glacial trash” faded from her tongue, too painful to utter.

“Read my mind.” Hearing Aloth say that when they both knew what a mess his head was was a bigger display of trust than anything he had said or done thus far. Carefully, she reached up and placed her hands on either side of his face, extending her mind to connect with his. Her eyes light up with bright violet light at the strength of the connection.

Memories flooded her vision. The day they met. They were both soaked through to the bone and she was strange, but so was he and the way she smiled at him made him feel like better things were on the horizon. Durance calling her “frigid bitch” behind her back after a disagreement and Iselmyr threatening to garrote him with his own bootlaces if he ever called their Watcher that again. Aloth had been too timid to say it himself, to demand respect for the woman who had saved all their lives, though his anger had burned brightly enough to bring out his other half. Their visit to the Sanitarium and her holding his hand. He had been so scared, so upset, but she had been there, anchoring him, reassuring him. The riots at Defiance Bay and his confession. He had been wracked with guilt, but she had just forgiven him and asked him to stay with her as her equal. The journey to Stalwart and the blizzard. She had made sure he was warm, sharing her body heat and accidental flirtations with him, making him feel comfortable and safe. The revelations at Sun in Shadow. She had encouraged him to seek truth and free will.

Then the memories shifted. Suddenly, they weren't about him anymore. They were just about her. Her listening to a farmer's concerns from her seat in Caed Nua, a look of genuine interest in her eyes. Her going to battle at Yenwood Field to protect Caed Nua and those it served. Her helping Kana examine something on the wall in The Endless Paths. Her taking up Abydon's Hammer and telling the rest of them to run as she prepared to strike the crystal to summon the Eyeless. Her playing in the snow with her tiny fish son. Her unleashing light in the darkest depths they had ever faced.

Then the memories stopped being memories, but things Aloth was imagining instead, things he wanted. Like her. Thoughts of their kiss, of carefree days, lying beside her for hours with a good book and a bottle of wine, of traveling the world, just the two of them, of growing old together, and a hundred other things that made her blush.

Needless to say, he had made everything quite clear. He didn't give a damn about her backwater origins or the fact that she'd probably eventually go mad. All he cared about was the person she had shown herself to be with her kindness, her honesty, and her wisdom. He also seemed to think she was rather dazzling.

Lann severed the mind link and became aware that she was breathing heavily again from the intensity of his thoughts.

“Aloth...” was all she managed to say. He waited patiently for her to recover, but when she did, she said nothing more. Instead, she pulled him into another deeper kiss, fingers weaving into his long dark hair. He gave a small hum of surprise and eagerly responded in kind, rekindling the fire in her chest that spread down her arms. She snogged him with all the enthusiasm one would expect of a woman who had believed this was something far out of her reach. When they finally pulled away from each other, he looked stunned and disheveled with his eyes wide and his hair a little mussed. It was a good look for him, she thought.

“Well, I...that was...good. No! Great. Everything I could have hoped for,” he gushed and Lann giggled as she brushed his hair back into place.

“I adore you, Aloth Corfiser.”

“And I you.” With this, he took both her hands in his own again and rested his forehead against hers. She reveled in the moment in silence for a while until she remember where they were and why.

“We still have a lot to talk about, but I think for now we should get on with the lesson so we might be done before anyone else decides to walk in here,” she suggested, taking a step back from Aloth. He cleared his throat and composed himself.

“Yes, of course. Where were we? Ah, right.” Another pleasant tune filled the air as he hummed and showed Lann the careful steps to its dance. She enjoyed it all even more this time knowing the reason behind the spark in his eyes as he twirled around with her.

They had not gotten through more than a few more dances before their privacy was interrupted by the unmistakeable deep voice of Kana Rua.

“Oh! I did not expect anyone to be in here so early. I apologize if I'm intruding.” The pair released each other's hands and looked about, startled at these words, to see the man himself standing in the doorway with his thick journal tucked in one arm.

“It's alright, Kana. Aloth was just showing me an Aedyran dance I was curious about,” Lann explained cheerfully and the chanter's face immediately lit up.

“May I see?” The request made her nervous at first and she caught Aloth giving her a questioning look, as if to ask if she was comfortable with this. She gave a nod to both men and Aloth obligingly squared off with her once more, offering his hands to her. She steeled herself and took them, praying that she would get all the steps right this time.

If she did make a mistake, neither of them acknowledged it, to her great relief. Kana, for one, seemed much too fascinated with the tune and the style of the dance to even care.

“Wonderful!” the aumaua proclaimed, clapping excitedly when they were done. Lann couldn't help but smile a little despite her anxiousness. One of the things she dearly loved about Kana was his ability to find wonder in the smallest of things.

“Well done,” Aloth put in softly, giving her hands a gentle squeeze.

“Thank you.” Dammit, was she blushing again? She needed to get a grip on that. “I suppose I should be on my way. I'm sure there are many decisions that will be laid at my feet today and as well as guests to greet. I'll see you both later.”

Stepping away from Aloth, Lann turned on her heel and sauntered out of the room as quickly as she could without seeming to be in a hurry. She needed to do some thinking and celebrating and she couldn't do that here.

* * *

The rest of Lann's morning, after she had had a good victory dance in her study, was spent with the Steward, organizing this that and the other mundane thing. She was glad to find that she didn't mind the duty much. It felt good to do something that resembled a normal life, even if it wasn't the normal that she had grown up with. Adventure had its appeal right up until something traumatic happened, which was constantly.

“You've only been home a few days, but you're already lookin' healthier,” Edér commented when he walked into the grand hall around noon, sweaty from doing heavy lifting with the workers all morning, but smiling. There was a definite note of relief in his voice that reminded Lann of how he worried about her all the time.

“I am feeling better, not having visions of my past life all, although I'm still having nightmares about some of the things we've seen and I get panicked whenever something reminds of them, but I imagine I'll be dealing with that for a long time yet,” she confessed as she made room for him to perch on the arm of her chair. Sitting down, he pulled out his pipe and lit it, taking a few pensive puffs before he replied.

“Lots of soldiers get that problem. It don't go away easy, if it ever does. Helps to have people you trust around to let you know you're safe.”

“You got it?”

“Yep. It's where I got my smoking habit from. I smoked a lot more before I met you, though. You got me worried in a way I can do somethin' about. Ain't nothin' I can do about nightmares.” That was true enough, although Lann imagined that if she tried hard enough, she could influence someone's dreams to be more pleasant. “Speaking of. You look like you got somethin' gnawin' on your mind, Lann. Somethin' I can help with?”

“Maybe. Can I ask you a hypothetical question?” The cipher fidgeted in her seat as she spoke, her hands kneading together in her lap.

“Fire away.”

“If you knew something horrible was going to happen to you, but you didn't know when, and there was someone who was deeply in love with you, would you try to spare them the pain or would you try to spend whatever time you could with them?” Lann asked nervously. Edér was silent for a good long minute or so with a very thoughtful expression on his bearded face. She counted ten puffs of his pipe before he answered.

“Everybody's gotta deal with loss at some point. Sometimes that's sooner, sometimes that's later. I figure if you're lucky enough to have someone who loves you as much as you love them, you gotta take every moment you got with them, 'cause each one could be your last.”

Lann was quiet in the face of these words, letting them sink in. Edér watched her with a curious concern, continuing to puff away at his pipe. Part of her, the rational part, knew he was completely right, but her heart still ached at the notion of selfishly letting Aloth tie himself to her, knowing full well he was going to have to see her succumb to the Watcher's Curse.

“This about Aloth?” The question startled Lann and she looked up at Edér with wide eyes. She opened her mouth to say something defensive, but nothing came out. Of course he'd bloody seen through her. She didn't call him her best friend for nothing. “It's alright if you don't wanna talk about it. I just wanted to know if everything's okay.”

“He...said some things to me...about things he wants in his life and...I can't get them out of my head and I feel terrible for wanting them too,” Lann admitted quietly, not looking at Edér as she spoke, instead focusing on her still-fidgeting hands. “He deserves a better future than I can give him.”

“Well, if he's any kind of decent fella, and I know he is, he'll be happy with whatever future he can have with you. Besides. You don't know what'll happen. Maybe you'll be alright. You're a strong sort of woman. If anyone could be a Watcher without going 'round the bend, it'd be you,” Edér told her, putting a big hand on her shoulder comfortingly. She leaned into the touch, glad she had someone to talk to about this.

“I wish I could convince myself of that. I think coming to the Dyrwood kind of fucked up my ability to hope,” she replied with a small dejected laugh. He put away his pipe and slid off the arm of the chair to crouch down and pull her into a big hug. She welcomed the embrace, putting her arms tightly around him and resting her cheek against the side of his neck.

“Well, I'm no psychic and I can't tell you how to feel, but you've always got me, Lann. I don't turn my back on my best buddy.”

“Thank you,” she whispered, squeezing him tighter. “You've got me too.”

They stay like this in comfortable silence for what seemed like an age, saying things in that comfort that neither of them had the words to speak aloud. Lann was tired, so tired. She had thought it would stop when she got home, but instead it seemed like all the exhaustion she'd been too focused on survival to feel was catching up to her. Everything seemed like too much, like normality and happiness were laughing in her face. Edér understood. He had come back from a war before.

“C'mon now. Festival's just starting up. Let's get you a new reason to smile,” Edér encouraged, eventually breaking the silence. She pulled back from him and dabbed the corners of her eyes with edge of her shawl, making sure there were no tears there.

“Of course. What's a festival without its sponsor?”

Taking a deep breath and schooling her features to match the serene and enigmatic air she like to cultivate, Lann stood and briskly exited the keep with Edér right behind her.

* * *

By evening, Lann had lost count of the number of parents who had come up to thank her. She had been introduced to what seemed like dozens of children who were once Hollowborn but now with soul. She was happy to give them all a moment of her time, especially those with single parents, and did her best to learn their names. Grieving Mother seemed particularly happy with this and trailed behind her, occasionally buying small treats and toys for the more dower looking children from whatever booths they were passing by.

They eventually ended up at the training field, watching the Feats of Strength, which largely entailed rock lifting and throwing in these parts. Maneha, Pallegina, and Edér were all participating, much to Lann's delight. Seeing Pallegina do something so common and slightly undignified in the name of showing up Edér was a beautiful sight to behold, especially when she managed to toss a hunk of granite trice the size of a melon a good three feet farther than the others. Maneha didn't seem to be at all upset at losing, because she had achieved the more impressive feat of somehow becoming even more attracted to their paladin friend. Edér was also a gracious loser, shaking Pallegina's hand and giving her one of his big, good-natured farm boy smiles.

“What did I miss?” came the unmistakable flowing tenor of Aloth Corfiser and Lann looked around to see the wizard standing right behind her, peering over her at their friends.

“Just Edér getting his ass handed to him by Pallegina. Nothing new,” she informed him with a chuckle. “You shouldn't come over here with those arms of yours. Someone might get ideas about challenging you to lifting something other than big tomes,” she added flirtatiously and even in the dim evening light, she could see him blush.

“Yes, well, anyone who wishes to make such a challenge would have to drink from the cold well of disappointment,” he quipped, crossing the aforementioned well-toned arms. Lann gave another small laugh and hooked a hand around his elbow.

“Come on then. I hear there's a bonfire at the forum and some entertainers all the way from Defiance Bay here to perform.”

“Now that sounds much more to my taste.”

And with that, the elven pair turned away from the training field and began to head across the grounds, through the throng of people, carts, animals, booths and other things that were all here for a celebration of the end of the Hollowborn Crisis. They passed by an old dwarf woman selling fruit and Lann tossed a coin to her before plucking up a small pouch of blueberries. She hadn't eaten much of anything all day and so she feasted on those blueberries as they walked. Aloth pilfered a couple of them, which earned him a gentle nudge to the ribs.

“Well, you seem to be enjoying them so much, I thought I was missing out,” he said defensively, though he had a big smirk on his face as he did so.

“Cheeky bastard,” Lann teased, watching him pop the berries in his mouth. “I think Iselmyr is rubbing off on you.”

“You take that back!” he gasped, looking quite scandalized.

“Unless you have a magic trick that'll bring back my blueberries, I shall do no such thing.”

“You wound me, my lady.” Lann's only reply to this was to snicker and eat more blueberries. At that, Aloth's sarcastic outrage quickly faded into that expression of fondness that always made her heart skip a little when it was directed at her.

Near the chapel, they came upon a young orlan man selling flowers and flower crowns. To Lann's surprise, Aloth stopped to gaze at them and she gave him a quizzical look.

“In the Cythwood, there's an autumn festival tradition of weaving flowers into the hair of someone you care about. It's an old Kulklin practice based on the belief that plants have a sort of soul energy to them and by binding them to someone for a time, that energy becomes promised to that person instead of Rymrgand when winter comes. In other words, it's supposed to help a loved one make it through the darker months,” he explained.

“That's a practice I can get behind.” Lann was supportive of anything that mildly inconvenienced Rymrgand, really. They were a dick.

“Could I, er...would you mind if I...?” Aloth gestured to her hair awkwardly and she beamed, nodding enthusiastically in consent. He bought a handful of crocuses and began gently weaving them into her hair like a little blooming tiara. It was a strange sensation, but in a good way. She liked the intimacy of it and what it meant. “There you are. They bring out your eyes, I think. It's quite lovely,” he said as he finished.

“Here, let me do you,” she replied excitedly.

“Alright,” he laughed, bending down a little to give her better access, being so tall as he was. Carefully, she braided a dozen snowdrops in three neat columns down the back of his long hair.

“Now we're both empowered.”

“ _Aye, and right fetchin' t'boot_ ,” Iselmyr complimented.

“Why Iselmyr, I had no idea you liked flowers.”

“ _Not fer me as much, but you carry 'em off like the bonny lass ye are._ ” Oh well now _that_ made Lann blush. Compliments from Aloth's fiery other half were a rarity, perhaps partly because Aloth didn't let her out too often unless he was distressed, but when she had something to say, she always had a way of wording it highly effectively. It was also, of course, quite nice to know that she approved of where Aloth had chosen to place his affections.

“Th-Thank you.” At this, Iselmyr gave Lann a devilish grin an a peck on the cheek.

“Alright, that's enough!” Aloth admonished. “I don't need you to flirt for me.” Lann giggled and linked her arm with his once more, pulling him onwards. They could already hear the music coming from the forum and it was starting to get truly dark outside. She thought she saw the glint of the Devil of Caroc's body in the light of the torches at one point and hoped that the woman wasn't up to anything worrisome. The thought was put at the back of her mind, however, when they came into the bonfire area. A whole crowd of people were dancing wildly around the fire to the jaunty music. “Well, this is...lively,” Aloth commented nervously. “I admit that this sort of dancing eludes me.”

“Then let me show you,” Lann murmured in his ear before she took a few steps into crowd and began to dance. It was not a dance like the one the Dyrwoodans around her were doing, which involved much jumping and twirling. No, her movements were fluid, furling and twisting like smoke from a recently snuffed candle. “This is how we dance where I'm from.”

Aloth gaped, mesmerized.

“Gods, have mercy on my soul,” he muttered.

“All you have to do is mirror me and you'll get the hang of it. I promise it's not as hard as it looks,” Lann encouraged. Hesitantly, he followed her suggestion and came to stand a couple feet opposite her, mirroring her movements. He was clumsy and awkward at first, but as she had promised, he got a feel for it fairly quickly and started to get into it.

For a while, it felt like it was just the two of them again, like the rest of the world had faded away and it was just them swaying together in the firelight. She didn't notice or care that few onlookers were staring at them and neither did Aloth. At least, not until they were approached by one of the keep guards.

“My lady,” the young guard called, clearing their throat. The pair abruptly stopped dancing and looked over in concern.

“What is it, Faendon?” Lann inquired, praying that nothing had gone horribly wrong.

“Lady Brynda of Helsgate has arrived. She'll be expecting you at the keep to receive her.”

“Shit,” she gasped and didn't waste a moment more in racing up to the keep, Aloth running close behind her. She very nearly plowed into several obstacles on the way, including a stack of crates full of potatoes and a whiskey barrel. When she came to the door, she stopped abruptly and did her best to arrange herself more tidily. “I know I'm not dressed very stately, but how do I look otherwise?” she turned to ask Aloth.

“You look lovely,” he told her as he caught his breath. She pushed open the door before she could give herself the chance to doubt it. Lady Brynda was already there in the main hall with her entourage and she looked over at Lann and Aloth's entrance with interest.

“Ah! Have you news of when your lady is expecting to join us?” the noblewoman asked not unkindly, but all the joy seemed to drain out of Lann all the same. She was brought back to the moment when she met Lord Gathbin and he had mistaken her for a scullery maid.

“Lady Brynda, this _is_ Lady Lann,” Aloth informed the woman pointedly.

“Oh my goodness, I am terribly sorry! I thought you might be a handmaiden. How very embarrassing of me.” Well, at least Brynda had the decency to sincerely apologize, not that it did much to repair the heavy blow to the Watcher's self-esteem. “I don't know what I expected, honestly. You adventuring types do tend to be a bit eccentric-” she went on and then paused when she seemed to notice that Lann wasn't smiling and Aloth was giving her a particularly cold stare. “Yes, well, enough of that. May I ask the name of this charming young man?” She gestured to Aloth, giving him a polite smile despite his none too warm manner.

“Lady Brynda, this is my dear friend Aloth Corfiser,” Lann introduced quietly and Aloth gave a slightly stiff, but cordial bow.

“And from where is it that you hail, Master Corfiser?”

“I was born in the Cythwood of Aedyr.” This answer did not seem to excite Brynda overmuch, but if it bothered her any more than that, she gave no indication.

“I see. And what is it that you do?”

“I am a wizard, my lady. I trained as an arcane knight, but I find myself more suited to a life of travel.”

“Oh, how quaint!” Now Lann had heard Aloth use that word often enough to know that “quaint” was what nobles called something to be polite and positive when they really found it uninteresting or distasteful, but she got the distinct impression that Brynda was being oddly genuine, though Aloth clearly didn't see it that way. She could sense the tension inside him.

“I'd be delighted to introduce you to some of my other friends at the banquet I've had prepared for your arrival this evening,” Lann told Brynda in an attempt to avoid escalating anything. “Please join us in the dining hall in an hour and feel free to participate in the festivities in the meantime. Welcome to Caed Nua, Lady Brynda.”

With that, Lann swiftly exited the keep, an anxious Aloth in tow. She practically ran to Brighthollow, only slowing when the wizard called her name, allowing him to catch up.

“Are you alright?” he asked. The beginnings of a sob escaped her as he only response, but she quickly stifled it. She made it all the way to the door of her bedroom before the rest of it came out and she put her face in her hands. She had cried in front of a friend only twice since coming to the Dyrwood (excluding tears of joy) and she hated that this was a third and that Aloth of all people was the witness. She was supposed to be the strong one, the one who would stand between him and danger and not even flinch, the one he could depend on when the rest of the world had let him down. Crying in front of him like this felt like betraying that promise to herself. But the floodgates were open and there was no going back now.

“I'm...I'm a fucking...idiot,” she choked out between heaves. “I can't...I can't do this.”

“You're not an idiot. Lady Brynda is just one oblivious aristocrat who has probably never even seen a Glamfellen in person before. I think...perhaps you're feeling overwhelmed because you've already been dealing with so much and I-I can see this means a lot to you,” Aloth told her softly, resting his hands on her shoulders.

“I'm sorry.” She began furiously trying to wipe away her tears and compose herself, but each time she tried, her lip would quiver and she'd fall to pieces all over again. “I should...I should be better than this. I-I shouldn't let it get to me.”

“Most people would have crumbled a long time ago if they were in your shoes. That you even got to where you are now speaks volumes of your strength and skill. If anyone has the right to a moment of vulnerability, it is you,” Aloth soothed, sounding a little bit more confident in his words this time. He opened her bedroom door and gently guided her inside, which she greatly appreciated, because she really didn't want any servants that might happen by to see her looking an utter mess. While he shut the door behind them, she shuffled over to sit on her bed and didn't speak until he was beside her again, a comforting hand on her back.

“My mind knows you've got it right, but my heart still hurts.” Lann's words came out more evenly now that she'd managed to get things to a sniffle, which was a relief.

“That is a feeling I know well.”

“It's nonsensical and unfair.”

“Yes, it is.”

A silence fell between them then, but not an uncomfortable one. Aloth seemed to have said his peace and surrendered to the knowledge that there was nothing more to do about her pain other than to simply ride it out with her. She rested her head against his shoulder and tried to focus on the feeling of his hand rubbing her back until the tears had stopped coming. Once she felt calmer and more collected, she began to formulate a plan.

“Alright, here's what needs to happen to keep this banquet from _completely_ blowing up in my face: we need to wash up, change into much nicer clothes, and someone has to summon Pallegina, Kana, and...fuck it, Edér. I know he doesn't like fancy parties, but he knows Dyrwoodan customs and I could really use the emotional support.”

“I will make sure that they are all informed,” Aloth replied dutifully as they both rose from the edge of the bed. Just as he was making to leave, Lann called to him and he turned to look back at her. “Yes?” She then came right up to him and stood on the tips of her toes to press her lips to his in a soft, drawn out kiss. As she stepped back, they both grinned and Aloth backed out of the door.

* * *

Lann returned to the keep just in time and thankfully each of the friends whose attendance she had requested was there to meet her outside the dining hall.

“You clean up well, Watcher,” Pallegina commented, her piercing yellow eyes scanning over Lann's flowing indigo gown. The pale elf gave a shy nod of thanks in return and noted that Pallegina's idea of fancy dress seemed to be the same sort of thing she always wore, just in a nicer fabric.

Kana, for his part, was dressed even more colourfully than usual and appeared to be very excited for this dinner, which was the exact opposite of the impression Lann was getting from Edér. The poor man looked to have borrowed a nice tunic from Aloth that was meant to be rather loose fitting but was very tight on his muscular human frame and his expression conveyed his physical and mental discomfort with the whole situation.

“You look real nice, Lann,” he chimed in, holding fast to his optimism.

“Thank you, Edér. I swear I'm going to get you the nicest puppy.” At this, he immediately brightened a little. Promises of pets raised his spirits just as well as any rousing speech, a trait Lann found quite endearing.

Aloth, who she turned to last, seemed quite transfixed by her and she couldn't help but smile a little to herself. He certainly also cleaned up well. He might only be Aedyran gentry, but as far as Lann was concerned, he could pass for a prince in his blue satin tunic.

“You do indeed look quite lovely,” he told her, his eyes shining with admiration and she gave another bashful nod. “Shall we?” He gestured to towards the dining hall and with noises of agreement, they all made their way in.

Lady Brynda cheerfully greeted them and introduced her own companions, who were all knights and aristocrats of various import. They seemed to find Lann and her friends to be rather exotic and not necessarily in a nice way. The lot of them were fairly racist in a sort of passive manner similar to Edér's trouble with orlans and they were uncomfortable with the fact that Aloth was Aedyran and Edér was a farmer. It seemed that Lady Brynda was actually the most openminded of the bunch, which was a very poor reflection on her friends.

Lann did quite well with remembering the table manners that Aloth had taught her, but she started to care less about that when the topic of her past was brought up. Upon discovering that she had been a mystic, her guests got very excited about the notion of her reading them. Even after she warned them that they may not like what she sees, they insisted. She asked a servant to retrieve her tarot deck, hoping to placate them so that they would move on. Pushing aside her plate, she placed the cards for each of her guests in turn. She did her best to phrase her findings in a way that wouldn't alarm anyone, particularly with regards to the knight, who, according to the cars, was going to die horribly in an ambush, but some still went a bit pale.

Fortunately, some of the more negative readings turned them off the subject. Unfortunately, their next interest was her more recent history, especially how she came to be in the Dyrwood and take up residence in Caed Nua. It very much came across to her as a need to scrutinize the legitimacy of her rise to nobility and that hit her hard, making it difficult to continue to speak with confidence. Though Aloth remained silent, biting his lip to keep Iselmyr at bay, Pallegina made a point of speaking where an Aedyran could not, defending Lann's hard work and character, for which the Watcher was quite grateful.

The banquet finished off with Kana holding their guests' attention with a number of stories, going from one to another until they proclaimed a need to retire for the evening. The chanter thankfully provided enough of a distraction for Lann to quickly say her goodnights and slip quietly from the keep.

The festival was still going strong on the grounds and for a moment, she considered rejoining the celebrations, but she found that she no longer had the heart for it. Instead, she walked unnoticed as a ghost back to Brighthollow.

The place was empty when she entered. She imagined that the rest of her friends were out in the festival, drinking, dancing, and playing games. As they should be. With a sigh, Lann headed up to her room, pulling pins out of her long, pale blonde hair as she went, letting it fall down her back. She had been so stupid to think it would make any difference if she made herself look and act like a lady. All anyone saw was a freak.

At least her bed accepted her. It was soft and warm and didn't throw her off when she collapsed on it or question the validity of her existence. It was always there for her when she needed it.

“I love you, bed,” she murmured, voice muffled by her face being buried in her pillow. She refused to cry again, even though she was alone now. She had wasted enough tears on insecurities about her station. To her dismay, her body had different ideas. Silent tears spilled from her eyes, dampening her pillow and leaving her even more angry with herself. She rolled over and stared at the wooden beams across her ceiling, folding her hands together across her stomach. For what seemed like hours, she remained that way, contemplating the futility of anything she did to try to live a normal life, but then there came a soft knock on her door. She didn't answer.

“Lann? Are you alright?” It was Aloth. Of course it was. He could be out drinking with Edér, but he was here, because he never stopped putting her first, it seemed. “Lann?” By the time he had called to her again, she was at the door. When she opened it, she found him standing there, appearing quite worried and just about ready to kick the door in. He looked her up and down, but focused on her raw eyes and blotchy face. “I'm so sorry. They had no right to treat you like that. You're not a bloody novelty. You deserve respect. There was a proper lady at that table and it wasn't Brynda,” he gushed.

There were no words that could convey the intensity of what she was feeling in that moment, so she expressed herself with her body, taking his face her hands and pulling him into the most passionate kiss she could muster. He was more than receptive to it, wrapping his arms around her to bring them closer together. His lips tasted like traces of the black cherry tart that had been served at the banquet, sweet and dark. She could feel the warmth of his chest through the thin satin that covered it, so different from his usual reinforced leather. They shifted backwards into her room and Aloth kicked the door closed behind them. She began to tug open the clasps of his tunic, still kissing him, and she was halfway down before he put his hands over hers and pulled back slightly.

“I-I'm sorry. I thought I was...I...it seems I'm...I'm not quite ready for that,” he struggled to say, not looking her in the eyes. Gently, she lifted his chin, bringing up his gaze to meet hers.

“That is perfectly alright,” she assured him.

“It is?”

“Of course. This only goes as far as you want it to, Aloth.” Hearing that his situation was fully in his control seemed to ease his anxiety considerably, his shoulders relaxing as he released the breath he had been holding.

“Should I go?”

“You don't have to. I'd appreciate the company – whatever form that might take.” At this, he gave her a bright smile and leaned forward to press his forehead to hers.

“I'd be happy to stay with you.”

* * *

The next morning, Lann awoke from a blissfully dreamless sleep to find that she was not alone in her bed for the first time. Aloth's bare chest filled her vision, her head tucked against it. Their arms were draped over each other's waists, holding them in a loose embrace.

“Good morning,” a voice rumbled in her ear, rough with sleep, and she shifted to she Aloth gazing at her fondly, the light filtering in through the curtains illuminating his eyes mesmerizingly.

“Hello there,” she returned with a smirk.

“You look well-rested.”

“I am. And you look very happy.”

“I am.” The wizard punctuated this with a soft kiss that elicited a delighted hum from Lann and she shifted to hold him more tightly. Gods, she wished that she could stay like this with him forever, but she knew he would have to leave, just like the rest. They would have to wait for the happy ending he had envisioned, if it came at all. Fortunately for her, her old life as a mystic had taught her to have patience, for all things unfold at their own pace. For now, however, she was going to treasure every moment she had with Aloth.

“Watcher!” They were both startled into a sitting position by the sound of Pallegina hammering the door. She seemed a little bit agitated.

“Yes?”

“There are more insufferable nobles in your fortress.” Alarmed by this news, Lann leapt out of the bed, nearly tripping on the hem of her grey nightgown as she went, and pulled open the door. “Oh. I was not aware that I was interrupting something,” Pallegina commented when she caught sight of Aloth in nothing but his trousers.

“It's not like that, I promise,” Lann assured her. “I was having a bit of a low moment and he stayed to make sure I was alright. That's all.” Her honesty must have been very convincing, because Pallegina's discomfort melted away and she had a sneaking suspicion that they brief twitch upward of the corners of the paladin's lips was even a smile.

“I see.”

“Now who exactly are these people in my keep?”

“A lord from Coldwater and his friends.”

“Oh, him. Lovely.” An expression of distaste came across Lann's features as she called who this was.

“Indeed,” Pallegina replied, matching the look.

“I'll be there as soon as possible and I'd be grateful if you, uh, kept them engaged until I am.”

“Of course. But do not take too long. My patience for pompousness is not infinite.” With a small bow, Pallegina promptly disappeared down the stairs, leaving Lann to rush to get herself properly dressed.

“She took this surprisingly well,” Aloth noted as he watched Lann brush her hair and she gave a small laugh.

“She did, didn't she? I bet- oh.” With those words, a realization hit her like a sack of stones. “Those sneaky bastards...” She paused in her brushing and Aloth's dark eyebrows shot up in alarm.

“What?”

“They're betting on us. On what exactly, I'm not sure, but I am getting the distinct feeling that it's happening.” At this, Aloth's brow fell into a scowl.

“Oh, wonderful,” he responded, voice dripping with his customary sarcasm.

“No matter. I have worse things to worry about at the moment. I got the impression from his letter that this lord is an even bigger piece of work than Brynda. I'm not going to play their game anymore or waste my time trying to live up to their standards. Caed Nua is prospering and if they want anything from me, they're going to have to be nice about it,” Lann ranted as she pulled on a tunic. She had been doing a lot of thinking while she had been curled up with Aloth last night and come to the conclusion that this whole trying to be something other than a strange, exotic woman venture was utter bullshit. She was what she was in their eyes and if that made them uncomfortable, then that was a them problem. It was a lesson from her friends' love that she should have picked up on a long time ago.

“I cannot wait to see their faces when they realize that,” Aloth told her with a broad grin as he snatched up his shirt from the back of a chair. Lann finished lacing up her boots and sauntered towards the door.

“Hurry up or you might miss it,” she teased, looking over her shoulder at him.

“Wait a moment.” She paused and he strode up to her to give her a parting kiss that left her beaming like a lovestruck teenager all the way to the keep.

* * *

Lord Tarwn of Coldwater was indeed just as impertinent and bigoted as Lann had assessed him to be, trying to make her feel like an outsider who was going to need his help to get anywhere, but with Pallegina and Aloth there to remind her of her convictions, she politely but firmly made sure that the man knew what his true position was. He quickly realized that he was going to have to do everything short of grovel to get the trade deal he wanted from her after all the subtle insults he'd paid her. It rather set the tone for the rest of Lann's festival.

For three more days and nights, she indulged in every happiness she had so long been denied. She spent quality time with each of her friends and tried not to think about how they would all be leaving soon.

More aristocrats came, demanded her attention, but instead of treating their arrival as stressful occasions in which she needed to appear impressive, she and her companions had fun with it, embracing their oddness to make it as clear as possible that the usual rules and expectations of high society did not always apply at Caed Nua. Its lady walked arm-in-arm with farmers and foreigners, broke bread with Glanfathans and Aedyrans, and kept a place at her table for freaks and outcasts.

Kana and Aloth, on the third night of the festival, presented her with their secret project. They had commissioned a new shawl for her with Glamfellen designs on it and each of her friends' names along the inside hem. It was black and grey and made of fine Dyrwoodan linen. Kana explained that it was something he thought she ought to have to remind her of where she came from, where she's been, and everyone who had journeyed with her. It earned him a huge hug, which was a little amusing for the fact that he was nearly thrice her size. She loved the feeling of his burly arms wrapping around her almost twice, at least until it was hard for her tiny ribs to breathe. Aloth, for his part, received a kiss on the cheek and a wink that made his face turn rosy.

He took up residence in her room every remaining night of the festival, just lying beside her and holding her, with intermittent make outs abound. It was more than enough to make Lann happy and she slept better than she had in a year, but she knew that all good things had to end eventually and this one ended with an abruptness.

The morning after the end of the festival, Aloth awoke suddenly just before dawn, crying out in fear at the fading edges of a dream. When Lann opened her eyes, he was sitting up, trembling, his eyes wide.

“What is it?” she whispered, gently placing a hand on his shoulder.

“Nightmare. Thaos,” he managed to say. He ran a hand through his long, tousled dark hair and took deep breaths.

“Do you want me to-?” She wiggled her fingers at him to convey that she might use her powers to help him calm himself.

“Thank you, but I think I'll be alright. If anything, things have been thrown into sharp focus. As much as I would like to stay at Caed Nua a while longer, I think it's best if I leave as soon as possible. If I don't hurry to do something about the Leaden Key, who knows what they might do next without their leader.”

Lann watched in stunned silence as Aloth slipped out of the bed and began rushing around the room, gathering his things and stowing them in his travel pack. He didn't pause until he started rifling through the chest where all sorts of equipment and miscellaneous things had been dumped after they'd come home. He pulled out Thaos' ceremonial attire, looking rather ill as he gazed intently at the garments. He then threw them into the fireplace and snapped his fingers. An intense flame instantly sprung up from the dying embers of last night's fire, burning it all to ash.

This alone did not seem to be enough for him, because he also took Thaos' scepter, violently snapped it in half over his knee and threw it in, adding the Woedica amulet and a signet ring for good measure.

Lann said nothing through all of this. She didn't need to. She knew what he was doing and what decision he had come to. She knew that this was something he had to do. This was the end of their peaceful time together and the beginning of a long and arduous task for him.

“I would demand that you let me go with you, but we both know that I cannot abandon my duties here. Even so, let me at least walk you to the edge of the wood,” she finally said once he had turned away from the fire.

“Of course,” he replied with a grateful nod. There was a hint of sadness in his gaze that betrayed how he felt about having to leave her. Quietly, they got dressed and Aloth finished packing. Lann wrapped up some extra food from the kitchen, including some of the cookies she had made the evening before. It was early enough that the rest of the house was quiet and no one disrupted their departure, of which she was quite glad. She didn't think she could handle commentary right now, especially from sneaky folks like the Devil of Caroc, who seemed to delight in interrupting early morning excursions.

As they crossed the grounds, they encountered trash and empty stands left behind by the festival and not yet cleaned up. She spotted a discarded flower crown on the ground and they stopped briefly so the she could weave a few flowers into Aloth's hair. They didn't need to discuss it. The intent was obvious.

The deserted surroundings were eerie and very appropriate to the emptiness and anxiety that were slowly eating at Lann's heart. She reached out and took his hand for some measure of comfort and he laced his fingers with hers, giving her a small smirk as he did so.

Even in passing beyond the gate and leaving behind the ghost town the fortress had become, no greater sense of peace came to the Watcher. She started to feel truly ill as they crossed the bridge. This was the last mark of civilization he would see for days. Each step across it was accompanied by a twist in her gut. She didn't want to think of him off somewhere awful, fighting alone against the people who had tried to destroy the world. She didn't want to think about what might happen to him if something went wrong.

“And this is where I must leave you,” he said with a sigh as they stopped at the edge of the dense forest that surrounded Caed Nua. They turned to face each other, still holding hands. Lann couldn't bring herself to let go just yet.

“And so you must. If you need anything, anything at all, you have but to ask. You are always welcome here, especially if you should ever need shelter. And please write to me on occasion if you can. My instincts are telling me that you won't often be in a position where that would be safe, but when you can say, I'd like to know that you're alright. I've got your ring, but I may not always be able to feel your thread,” she rambled and Aloth's lips spread into an adoring smile.

“I'll do what I can.” His manner then changed slightly, becoming more energetic. “ _Don't worry yerself, lass. He's got me, remember?_ ”

“Of course, Iselmyr. You've had his back for fifty years and I fully expect you to keep at it for a hundred more. In fact, I'm going to hold you to that.”

“Oh, don't encourage her,” Aloth chided lightheartedly and Lann giggled. “But I suppose for once I may be glad to have her, considering what I'm getting into.”

“Where will you go?”

“I've a notion that I'll start in Defiance Bay and see what traces I might follow. From there, I don't know. I imagine this is going to take me to many corners of Eora.”

“Wherever you may go, promise me that you will come back from there, that I will see you again, however long it may take.” As Lann said this, she held his hand over her heart and gazed intently into his pale blue eyes, trying to impress upon him how serious she was without touching his mind.

“You have my word.” They both knew that chance might force him to break that promise, but this was more about giving them both something to hold onto than anything literal.

“I love you, Aloth Corfiser,” Lann all but whispered, leaning closer to him.

“And I you,” he replied, smiling again before bending down to kiss the living daylights out of her one last time.

And then she let go and he was gone, disappearing into the forest and leaving her to watch and wonder what would become her life now.

 

**Author's Note:**

> ...and there you have it! Hope you liked it. A lot of the cultural background I gave for the White that Wends is worldbuilding I did myself, since there isn't much in canon about the place, but I have headcanons about Glamfellen traditions being somewhat reminiscent of Slavic culture. I also added a few bits of elvish Aedyran culture that I thought would be fun/appropriate.
> 
> Anyhoo, thank you for taking the time to read this!


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